Sunday, June 28, 2015

Tynlee Anne

Tynlee,

Your four years old and full of love. Your a social butterfly, drawn to people. You have the most caring and compassionate heart towards others never wanting to disappoint anyone.
You always try to make people smile and you constantly tell "I love you". You love to cuddle, I can tell touch is your love language for sure.

Your bossy and stubborn but I think that comes from being the first child. But your also a huge help to me and always willing to give me a hand.

You love to dance to ballet music, make up songs and sing, watch Cailou and Curious George, play mermaids, and have tea parties. Your always in a princess dress or a dress for that matter. You change 50 times a day and love all things girly.

You love to go go go and will go anywhere and everywhere. You love to go for walks and swim in our pool. You love your friends and going to kids choir and class on Wednesday night.

You are the happiest girl ever. So happy all the time and always putting a smile in my face by saying the sweetest things.

I love you beautiful. You have the biggest heart and God has big plans for your precious life.

Anistyn Reese

Annie bug,

You just turned three and I can't believe it. We had a scary year with you, taking you in for a check up only to find out you needed blood work and to see sever specialist for possible leukemia or auto immune disease. God answered our prayer, and so far, all is well and your doing great now. It was the scariest thing we ever went through. I can't fathom life without you, you are the light in this family and bring us so much joy.

Your tiny as can be. Such a peanut weighing in at 24 lbs. and wearing mostly 2T. You are doing so good in church, sitting quietly through the whole service! What a difference a year has made! You love when the older girls carry you around at church. You are so good at sharing your toys and you love being tickled.

Your favorite food is probably eggs and sausage. And you love love love chocolate icecream.
You adore your daughter. You and him have a sweet bond that I love to watch flourish. You love piggy back rides and twirling in your princess dresses and pretending your a dog.

You love to be silly and make funny faces. You are very shy around other people but are so affectiate and loving to us all. You love to give the "perfect" high five and you can scream louder than anyone I ever heard. Your very dramatic and very expressive with your gestures when you talk.

Anistyn you are so beautiful. You have a heart of gold and I just love being your mommy. You are so much fun to be around and always the life of the party.

I love you unconditionally.

Piper Rae

Piper,

Your first year of life flew by in the blink of an eye. You are now almost 17 months old and a complete joy to be around. You have the cutest personality that I can't get enough time with you. You make us laugh so hard with your funny facial expressions. You absolutely adore your big sisters and think they are so funny.

You started walking on your first birthday and haven't stopped since. Your a tornado, that's what daddy calls you because your so fast and into E V E R Y T H I N G. The second I bring you downstairs in the morning you go straight to the pantry and grab fruit snacks without hesitation. Your still nursing a few times a day and I love it, it's our special bonding time and you look into my eyes like I can do no wrong when your nursing and it melts my heart. You call it "na nas" :-)

You love to eat. You eat pretty much everything I put in front of you. You love cheese the best, and the squeeze fruit/apple sauce pouches, chicken nuggets, Mac n cheese, and bread.

You started sleeping through the night at 13 months when I finally stopped cosleeping with you. Before that, you nursed about every hour at night and mommy was exhausted but I knew it wouldn't last forever so I cherished that special time with you. Smelling you, and getting to kiss your chubby cheeks all night, watching your little chest move up and down up and down and wrapping my finger in your little hand and feeling you grasp it tightly. I miss cosleeping with you. Now, it's hardly ever because you like your own space and I miss you terribly at night. Sometimes I'll just go in your room and stare at you sleeping and put my hand on my back and pray for you and tell you a thousand times how much I love you.

You love to put on your sisters dress up shoes and walk around, it's so cute. You love to pull out every book in the book shelf and look through them one by one. You love playing outside and eating the sand, you always go back for more. Bath time is your favorite but only if your sisters are in there too. You think it's hilarious when they spit water in your face.
And you splash around and giggle like your at Disneyland.

You just figured out how to climb down our stairs so I'm thankful I have one less thing to worry about. Your finally growing some hair and it's literally WHITE. It's so blonde & beautiful.

I love when I put you into bed and sing "you are my sunshine" every night and you smile and lay your head on my shoulder. I hate letting go and laying you down. You call me "dada" most of the time and me and your dad laugh so hard. Apparently you have two dadas :-/

We love you so much and I am so glad God blessed us with you. Your so beautiful and I love you more than I can even fathom.

Saturday, January 31, 2015

The unknown.

As I sit here and write this, I watch Tynlee and Anistyn dancing around the kitchen to "It is well with my soul". As I sit here and type this and listen to them giggle and the potter patter of dress up heels dance around the laminate floor, tears roll down my face. Because is it really "well" with my soul? The outcome of the blood work done on Anistyn this past Wednesday?  What if it is the worst case scenario we have been praying it isn't? The worst case, is leukemia.

See, I decided, well we decided, I would take her to doctor because we have tried everything possible to fatten her up. But instead of gaining weight, she is either steady at 22
or losing weight the day we stop giving her chocolate milk. She is in the 1-3% for weight depending on what chart you look at online.

The doctor noticed right away her short stature and pale, thin skin. She was concerned with how you could see her veins and she had a few cuts that aren't healing as quickly as normal. And her lymph-nodes are more swollen than even and ordinary sickness would bring. She told me that she suspected an auto immune disease like celiac being as she has some digestive issues. She ordered blood work which made me nervous of course.

So I took her in Wednesday for blood work. Well she acted like a pro and didn't even say a word. Not a flinch. They had two nurses and me holding her little 22 pound body just in case but quickly realized, it was unnecessary. "Not even adults to this well!" The phlebotomist joked. I almost cried out of pure amazement, as proud as a mom could be, I hugged her right and assured her how brave she was and how proud I was of her strength and cooperation. We rewarded her(and Tynlee) with a milk shake AND sucker.

I was more nervous after blood work that I was before because now the results are in. No turning back. See, I stalled taking her for so long because of my fear of finding out, silly I know cause yes, it's much better to know and get it taken care of but I was worried for all of this stuff to happen.

Now we sit here and wait....

Wait all weekend till Tuesday at 9am, when will finally have an answer.

We've gotten a few tests back but have no idea how to read them.

We know her white blood cell is higher than normal. Her platelets are higher than normal(weird cause I have low platelets). Her vitamin b12 is high and her Creatinin level is low. Celiac was negative.

So I've tried to control myself with researching what these results could mean and I've found some alarming things that make me nervous. Trying with everything I have to think on things above and not worry. But my carnal mommy nature, does worry and will worry because worrying is what I do. I'm scared. Scared for her. Scared it may be worse case. Scared our lives might need to change some.

As a mom, you would literally do anything you had to do to take this from your child. And without a doubt I would, in a heartbeat. I want her to be well and thrive and grow and absorb properly all the nutrients her body needs to grow. I want her healthy and I want it now and this is so hard for me to be patient and wait........

As I was driving Annie to the doctor, "God of angel armies" came on the radio and her little sweet 2.5 year old voice, with all her might was singing "WHOM SHALL I FEAR? I know who goes before me, I know who stands behind, the God of angel armies is ALWAYS by my side!"

Wow, if that doesn't give me peace.....
When I am weak, it's amazing how He uses our sweet children to show us and remind us who really is HOLDING US. Who loves us more than we can even fathom. Who already knows the outcome.
So much peace overwhelms me....

No fear can overtake me....cuz perfect love casts it out!!

Trusting in Jesus today. And thanking Him for these beautiful Saturdays we get as a family just doing nothing, laughing and playing.

Each day is a gift. and I'm thankful God chose me to be Anistyn's mommy cuz she brings me more joy that she will ever know.

Monday, December 29, 2014

Goodbye 2014...Hello 2015!

What an amazing year it has been! The year started off by anxiously awaiting the arrival of our sweet Piper Rae. She came February 12th and has been a perfect little piece to our puzzle. In March, we found out we would be moving to northern Washington because Stephen accepted a promotion and transfer. It was filled with mixed emotions of living away from family and everything we have ever known to being excited about a fresh start and building our own little life as a family of five.

It has truly been the best decision we ever made. We used to say we don't feel like it's necessarily God moving us but now looking back, it 100% has been! He has shown himself to us here and has proven to us that moving to Washington was truly in His plan for us. The first couple months were hard. Adjusting to new job, living away from our family, looking for a new church home, trying to find our way around our new town, where we wanted to grocery shop etc. But all of those things, have brought us so much growth. Most importantly in our dependence on Christ!

When we moved here, we had intentions of joining an independent baptist church close to our home but little did we know God would have other plans for us. We would end up falling in love with a church 40 minutes from our house. We joined Harvest Baptist in July and have tried to plug ourselves accordingly to Gods plan ever since. I have started working in the nursery and have joined the choir as an alto. Stephen has been involved in Ministry 2717 and hopes to get more involved as The Lord sees fit. Our girls have never been happier, making sweet new friends and watching them enjoy going to church and learning to be attentive to God and His word.

I've been able to let go more than I ever thought I would. We have made amazing friends, with like minded morals and values for their families. We love having friends who we all have the same goals and aspirations for our children. Stephen got a dirtbike a few months ago and has enjoyed going riding with some friends from church.

Stephen has had to go out of town for work a few times and it has truly taught me full dependence on Christ. The first time he was gone, I got terrible food poisoning and was stuck at home alone with the three girls, Piper being only two months old and I didn't know anyone yet so I had to barrel through. And yay, we made it out alive!

We have enjoyed having our parents come visit us a few times as well as going back home twice due to Stephens grandpa passing away and for thanksgiving.

We literally never knew a church as amazing as Harvest existed. The spirit of the people there is so amazing! We are so blessed to find such an awesome church home who has truly become our family. They were exactly who we needed and we didn't even realize how much we were "drifting" before moving here.

We were excited to go to church again. Excited to get plugged in and excited to watch our children flourish here.

We are thankful for FaceTime and that we get to do it with my parents at least once a week.

We had the most beautiful spring and summer and have never seen a place so GREEN! In July, we bought a camping trailer and went to a beautiful camping place a couple times with it. We made some amazing memories doing so!

We have spent a lot of our free time hiking beautiful trails near our house. Knowing we have such beauty in our backyard is so unreal. We have deer in our yard almost daily and the girls have enjoyed feeding them crackers and apples.

It's truly been such a wonderful year full of spiritual growth. We can't wait to see Gods plan for us to continue to unfold especially in Stephens ministry as a preacher. We are excited about the new year and moving closer to church in the spring time so we can get more involved and be better hosts to our friends. We are praying about adopting a baby and have been for the last few months, hoping God opens doors for that if it's His plan.

We are so thankful and so blessed to have another healthy and great year!
He is faithful and He is GOOD, all the time...

Monday, September 29, 2014

What I wish I knew about (Csections)

Cesarean section used to be such a {scary} word to me. And I know, it's scary for most, I mean it's major surgery, I get it. I've done it a few times ;) But after three, you can say I've become pretty "comfortable" with them or maybe just comfortable with my amazing doctor. Or when I mean comfortable I mean, it's the only way I've "given birth" so to me, it's normal for me & all I know. But either way, here are some tips I'd like to share with you just in case csection is in your future. Things I wish people would have told me....

-ASK TO HAVE YOUR HANDS FREE. With my first & second, it was more emergent that I had no idea what to expect and had no choice but to go with the flow but my third, I got to be hands free which made me feel a lot more comfortable on the table.

-Ask your doctor to do the GLUE on outside, not the staples. IT MAY BE STANDARD NOW, not sure. My doctor did the dissolvable ones on inside then glue on outside. Nothing had to be removed a few days later and I had ZERO problems with the glue. My scar looks great! He has gone over the same scar all three times.

-I cannot stress this enough, request DELAYED cord clamping. (This is just in birth general). Even though you have a csection, you can still do some things they do during vaginal delivery. It's crucial to your baby. Look it up, you won't regret it.

-Let husband cut the cord. Well my husband couldn't cut the cord from my placenta to her like a vaginal birth but they did keep a lot of it and he then was able to go to her bedside and cut the rest :)

-Baby may have trouble breathing at first because in a csection they don't get the fluid out of their lungs like they would being pushed through birth canal. So don't fret, it's pretty common for them to have to suction a lot.

-Request baby to be in recovery with you so you can do skin to skin and breastfeed. It will help contract your uterus back to normal plus that bonding time is SO special.

-May be embarrassing but FOR REALS, let out your gas. I tried to hold it in and all it did was make me miserable. Seriously seems funny, (cause face it, it definitely is) but any surgery that opens up your tummy and let's air in will cause so much gas, both ends. So don't be afraid to let it out...the second and third day are the worse...might wanna request no visitors those days! Haha :) Trust me, let it out or you will be in so much pain....

-You will feel so good showering after you had a csection. The first shower after baby feels like you won a million dollars. Don't be afraid of getting water on your scar, it will be perfectly fine. Don't scrub it of course but it's okay to let water run down your tummy.

-The first time you try to stand up, it BURNS OH SO BAD. Not gunna lie! I promise though, it gets easier each time you try. Don't be afraid, it won't bust open even though you feel like it will.

-Wear the support belt. They should give you one but if not, ask. It feels so good on your tummy, lifting everything up and it definitely feels more secure when you try to cough, sneeze or laugh.

-Stay on top of your Motrin/ibuprofen. The Norco or vicadin never did much for me except make me so groggy so I stuck with the 800mg ibuprofen and that was all I needed. It worked so well because the jist of your pain is from the swelling. So don't lax on your meds even if you feel you don't need them, take them because once you feel pain, it's hard to get it under control.

-If you didn't get to breastfeed in recovery, do as soon as possible. You will be uncomfortable but don't give up. It's the best thing for your baby.

-Don't be scared to walk or change positions in bed. You definitely will feel like you will reopen your scar but seriously, it will be fine...it's stronger than you think! Walk as soon as they advise you too, the quicker you walk, the better you will feel.

-BUT if your baby is in NiCu, like my first two were, use a wheelchair most of the time, it's a long walk that you should probably take it pretty easy the first few days. Cause trust me, you will want to be with your baby 24/7.

-Take the stool softeners. Ps: going number two after baby isn't as painful as you think it may be, at least for csection mamas but take the softener just so you feel more comfortable!

-Get a birth photographer. Best money we spent! They can't go into surgery with you but before and after pictures were so special! Looking back to those pictures brings me right back to that day. Wish I would have done with all three!!!

-Last but not least, enjoy it. I know it's not your ideal way to give birth but sometimes it truly is the best option. Just be thankful we have them because sometimes it is safest for Mommy and baby.

The next few tips are just if you are on magnesium sulfate being, during or after delivery.
I was on this all three times. Twice for high blood pressure and once for preterm labor. The high blood pressure times, it way in higher doses to keep me from having a seizure from the high blood pressure. You will feel like you have the flu. Blurred vision. Low heart rate. Feverish. HOT HOT HOT like keep the cold rags coming.

-request a bedside toilet. Don't get the catheter. Trust me, without an epidural(like for preterm labor) it is not comfortable. I was so much for comfortable going potty in little basin or bedtime toilet(because FYI, you can't walk on mag)

-put cold rags on face. Your face will be red and so hot. It helps you keep cool. Also a fan, is nice too.

-concentrate on your breathing. Sometimes you will feel like you have an elephant on your chest but just try to take deep breaths and remain calm.

It's an amazing drug but honestly makes mama feel horrible and baby super sleepy, in womb and out FYI.