Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Face it, there's no such thing as a perfect little family.

We all have this vision, this fairytale. Sometimes we put on a front that everything is great and all you write about or post pictures about is the good stuff. but lets be honest, we may put on a front that life is perfect and we have no problems but everyone does.

We post pictures of our clean houses, kids and all the yummy extravagent dinners and desserts that we make. but why don't we be honest and show the bad.

Your marriage isnt perfect. Every marriage takes work...i dont care who you are. our kids arent always angels, they throw fits and talk back.  and your house isnt always cleaned. You arent always the perfect spouse, mom or daughter and seriously, sometimes you dont change out of your pjs.

but hey, its ok. your a mom. and we all know that the front we put on, just covets up the reality that life is tough sometimes.

Some weeks you dont make dinner every night and guess what? thats ok!

We are not perfect even if we claim to have it all together.
Every marriage takes work. Every mom gets overwhelmed sometimes.
and sometimes your house is an absolute mess.

but it's normal and its okay to admit and to show the "ugly".

so in this world of the next best thing..We are teaching our kids to not like "simple"...that its not cool to just give a simple good ol' Valentine card for Valentines day rather than a one of a kind card with a sucker and a cute little bow---the most "pintastic" idea. One present on Christmas isnt enough, only four to six is. And a regular birthday party with a few balloons is okay rather than trying to top your friends or the one you saw on Pinterest.

so Moms out there, reality check, we arent perfect and we are all in this together :)

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Anistyn 8 and 9 Months Old

My baby girl is almost a year. 
Didn't we JUST celebrate Tynlee's first birthday and now she is two????
 Crazy, crazy, crazy.

Anistyn is so advanced for her age. Really, she is. { I think! }
She has been crawling since 6 months, pulling up on things since 6.5, and now at 9 months, she's standing on her own and taking a few steps. 
I repeat, a few steps!

How on earth is this possible?
Yes, I push her down, nicely. I definitely don't encourage it.

Why does this have to happen to me?
I've never once pushed my kids to roll over, crawl or walk.
I've wanted them to grow at their own pace and ' let them be little. '
cause it's only that way for awhile.....{ yes, i'm singing the song that all you country lovers should know } ;)
Time already goes by fast enough.
We gotta soak up those times cause we all know the baby phase FLYS by and before you know it, your so sleep deprived, their first birthday hits you upside the head like BAMM..

Anistyn is a peanut.
Always has been and probably always will be.
No idea who's body type she has.
Definitely not her "big boned" mamas Scandinavian body..built TOUGH right?? :)
She is 14.5 lbs.
{ weighed at home since she hasn't been to the doctor since 3 months }
She is such a busy, active, nosey little girl.
Doesn't miss a beat.
I slowed WAY down on my caffeine intake to see if it would help her.
Hasn't done a thing yet.

She still sleeps TERRIBLE at night.
{ but she's too cute to be mad at her of course ;) }
Waking to nurse 4-6 times at least.
We finally put her in her own room, hoping it would help, but no.
It's probably worse than her sleeping next to me in my room. :(
I've tried everything.
The oatmeal before bed, the fat {avocado}, the full full FULL belly, the cry it out..
You name it.
No idea what is going on.

Me and hubby just look at eachother and laugh because we know it seems like it will never end but Tynlee did this too and finally at 13 months, slept through the night.
See, it's short lived. and we WILL survive and we WILL sleep AGAIN. 
A full nights rest. 
Rather than the broken up 6 hours or so.
She sleeps great from 7pm-12am.
{ I should sleep during that time, I know but it's hubby time, right? }
After midnight, it's pretty much, dreaded.
I dread sleep. Is that horrible?

But about Anistyn's amazingly GOOD qualities.
She's a cuddle bug.
She is so sweet and such a good baby.
Hardly makes a peep during the day.
Even when her Big Sis steals her toys.
She is always on the go.
Never stops.
Church is a whole nother story.
It's that stage where she doesn't want to sit still so we are constantly having to get up with her and walk around. But my mother in law has the "touch" and can always get her to sleep. PTL for her!
But her active little mind makes things tough sometimes.

She is wearing 6-9 month clothes.
and size 2 diapers.
size 1 shoes.
and has the most perfect little tiny round head that is always accessorized with a bow bigger than it :)
Mommy likes big bows and she cannot lie!

i LOVE our little peanut girl.
She is a doll.
and a complete blessing to our GROWING family.

Happy 9 months little one.
{ sorry about the 8 month pictures :) }

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Only You Have The Power To CHOOSE Happy.

I've lived it. I
 breathed it. 
I've felt it. 
I've been happy. 
Overjoyed. Depressed. Fearful. 
Weak. Ecstatic. 

The moment you fell in love, those butterflies that you never thought would go away, did.
But guess what, YOU CAN get them back. You can WIN. You can beat the odds of 50% of marriages ending in divorce.
Never forget the way you felt when you saw your husband at the end of the aisle waiting for you. 
I will never forget the look he gave me, never. 
The moment you found out you were expecting a baby. 
Nervous. Anxious. Excited. HAPPY.
Then 9 months later you lay your eyes on the baby you grew in your womb. 
You find love you never knew existed. 
Never forget those feelings. 
Those good times that outweigh the struggles.


Life gets you. Life takes windy, bitter, hard turns.
It takes ugly, scary, hard to bear paths.
It goes up. It goes down.
Roller coaster of emotions.

There's good times and plenty of bad.

It's what you make it.

Who you are today, shows the life you've lived.
You have either embraced your struggles and grown
or you've let your hard times "win" and you are deep in the hole of life's pains.

I've been both.

I'm not who I thought I was going to be. 

Not like I'm crazy or anything {at least, I don't think so ;)}
but I'm different because of the challenges I've faced.
I am the way I am because of my life experiences.

As I sat here during naptime to write in my "diary".
I didn't have a plan on what to write, I just had thoughts.
Thoughts going so many different directions and not making sense.
DIfferent thoughts and things that didn't even go together.

I sit here and tell you that life wins a lot of the time.
We let our struggles, our doubts, our fears DEPRESS us 
and bring us down. WE do. No one else has the power to. WE do.
WE choose the directions. Yes, God throws curveballs in our plans to better US
and to direct us CLOSER to Him. But we choose how we will take that direction.
For positive or for negative.

Now, I've had struggles. I've dealt with anxiety.
Still do.
I've been treated badly and how know young girl should be treated.
I've been used. I've been betrayed. I've been battered, bruised, spat upon.
I've made wrong choices because of those things.
For all my highschool years, I chose to live a life unworthy of Christ.
I chose to let my childhood, my life path, WIN.

As I sit here and try my best to raise our daughters, that overwhelming protective mother instinct
is in full swing. Some look at me and say, LET GO OF THE LEASH, and I would to from the outside looking in.
But people, you gotta understand. I am the way I am because of my past.
I shelter and care to my children in a way that people look down upon. And trust me, I understand.
But don't judge and don't criticise until you walked in my shoes and been through the tribulation that once hit me.

My children, are ultimately GOD'S CHILDREN. Yes, he blessed me with them.
They aren't mine. They are HIS.and I want nothing more, like any good mom would, to protect them from the dangers,
the dirty, disgusting world we live in. SIN.

See, I know they were born SINNERS. We all were.
And we all still are.
But the blood of Christ covered my sins on July 24, 2008 when I asked Christ into my heart that Thursday night at church camp.
Never again did I have to carry around my past "baggage". Never again did I have to feel dirty, used, abused and worthless.
God made me WHOLE that night. I put my faith, my trust and my life in HIS hands. And I've NEVER regretted it.
I've never been the same because of it. I still make mistakes and I still am not perfect, nor will I ever be, but my eternity is secure.

I am a mom and a wife that gives everything I can to my family.
If I'm going to be a mom, then I'm going to give it 110% and protect my children as much as I can from life. I'm going to TRAIN them. I'm going to show them
who Christ is by how I live my life(I hope, I mean!). I'm going to show them that mommy is not the used up girl I thought I was, I am made beautiful and pure in CHRIST and in Him alone. I'm going
to show them that NOTHING else in this world matters but that they to, trust Him as their savior as serve Him their whole lives. That they marry a Godly leader who treats them with love and respect
and loves them the way God designed them to.
If I'm going to be a wife, then I'm going to be faithful, loyal, affectionate to my husband FOREVER.
Just him and only him. I'm going to show him I appreciate him everyday. 
If I'm going to profess the name of Christ, then I'm going to live my life in a worthy manner. 
I'm going to try to live in a way where I won't cause others to stumble.

Life. It gets you. It brings you down. 
It confuses you.
It hurts.
It makes you want to crawl in a hole and scream sometimes at the top of your lungs.
But there really is so much beauty in it.
There really is those times, when you are sitting around the table as a family and you are THANKFUL.
Don't let life win. Be THANKFUL every single moment of EVERY single day. 
Let your trials and tribulations SHAPE you and grow you into the God fearing woman, wife and mother you are today.
Don't be afraid to break down and cry and pour your heart out to the alter of Christ. It doesn't make you weak.
It means you have a heart and you care. 
Tell him your tired. Your worn and weak.
Tell him you need His guidance. His forgiveness. His love & protection.
He will give it.
There's redemption for us.
You don't have to carry your load alone any longer.
Toss it up to Him, I promise He WILL catch it!